Since college, I’ve always had a lot of male friends. I also have female ones, but men are fun to hang around with because of one thing: most of them aren’t into drama.
For example, if guys get into an argument, they may scream at the top of their lungs, stomp around and slam doors, and even get into a fist fight if they’re young (or sometimes if they’re older and just haven’t grown up yet).
It’s loud. It’s ugly. It’s scary.
But when they’re finished, for the most part, it’s all over. They may even shake hands, bump knuckles, or high five. Then they go off to share a pizza, some beer, and watch a sporting event.
Whatever they were arguing about is over. Caput. Done.
Now women? We carry that stuff to the grave.
Actually, I think we carry it beyond into our future lives.
If you have a dog who continually craps in your shoes in this life, it may be the reincarnation of your Aunt Carol who got really mad at you when you didn’t complement her new shoes on Christmas one year.
Sometimes, women don’t even remember what they’re upset about with another woman. But they won’t give in. Oh no…
Now, on the other hand, there’s something I love about women that I loathe in men.
I was recently talking with my husband, and I asked, “What are you thinking about?”
He answered, “Nothing.”
“Nothing? How can you be thinking about nothing?” I sputtered.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’m just not thinking about anything.”
You know when the last time was when I was thinking about nothing? When I was in utero, just before my brain developed. I’m sure that as soon as I had a brain, I was thinking, “Wow, it’s nice in here. I wish she’d stop eating spicy food. I don’t like that. Hey, what’s that light? WHATTTTT??? No! I wanna stay!”
And it’s been downhill from there.
I asked my neighbor, also a guy, “Are there really times when you’re thinking of nothing? Like absolutely nothing? Nothing at all?”
“Oh yeah,” he responded. “I do that a lot.”
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
I practically interrogated my husband. “How do you go about thinking of nothing? You’re a smart man. Aren’t you wondering about something all the time?”
“Nope. Nothing. Sometimes I’m just thinking about nothing,” he said.
“Teach me your wizarding ways,” I practically begged.
“I don’t know how. I just don’t.” he said.
So I called a female friend. “Do you ever think about absolutely nothing?” I queried.
“Think about nothing? No. If you think about nothing, you’re dead or in a coma. And I think you can think about things while you’re in a coma,” she replied.
Then we spent time discussing everything we were thinking about. But since we’re both writers, that led to both of us falling down the proverbial rabbit hole and looking stuff up.
You know, stuff we were thinking about.
Hmmm…thinking about nothing. Now there’s something to think about.
Michele “Wojo” Wojciechowski, when she’s not thinking about trying to think about nothing (which she still thinks is totally unthinkable), writes “Wojo’s World®” from Baltimore.
She’s also the author of the award-winning book Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box. You can connect with Wojo on Facebook or on Twitter.
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