Don’t Like the Weather? Wait 5 Minutes.

As I sit here in my home office in Maryland writing this column, it is still winter. It’s late February, and spring doesn’t come until March.

So why am I sitting here wearing shorts, with my big hair pulled up in a ponytail, and the ceiling fan spinning quickly? Because although the calendar may say winter, the weather says spring.

It was 73 degrees here today, and at the end of the week, it’s going to snow.

Did you read that? SNOW!!!

We have a saying here in Baltimore, “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes, and it will change.”

I used to think that was just a joke. But considering that I’m not yet ready to move the space heater out of my office, I don’t think it’s funny.

This is one of those times of year when you might bundle up when you leave your house in the morning—oh wait, there’s still a pandemic. Well, remember when you used to leave your house in the morning. I’d dress in layers. 

When I was coming home in the afternoon, the layers were gone—except for the last one, of course. The air conditioning was blasting in my car. And when I walked into the house, the ceiling fans got their workout, and I flung open the windows, hoping for a breeze.

But it wouldn’t be there. You know why? Because evidently, our weather is drunk.

People have been posting on social media—everywhere from the mid-west to the east coast, and we’re all complaining about the same thing: it’s hot, dang it, and we don’t want to turn the AC on in February.

I mean, it’s not like this is Hawaii or the Bahamas or Cali-forn-eye-a.

I’m not the only one confused by the weather. Nature is pretty much freaking out about it as well.

A few weeks ago, one of our neighbors posted a photo of flowers that were blooming in his backyard. A friend on Facebook posted a photo of completely grown daffodils. As in, you could cut them, bring them inside, and put them in a vase.

Seriously…

Remember that margarine commercial in the 1970s? The tagline was “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature!”

Well, what I want to know is why is she fooling us now? Huh? 

Here’s the weather report on any given week: it’s really hot; now it’s really cold; oops some snow; and now it all melted because it got warm and rained.

Our dogs don’t know what to make of it either. The ground is hard. The ground is soft. The ground is warm, and then it’s cold. 

They come in soaked to the skin one day, and little snowballs hanging off their fur the next.

Thankfully, this crazed weather changes don’t last all year. It’s not likely that we’ll get snow on July 4. 

At least I hope not. Because if I’m refusing to get out all my summer clothes now, there’s no way I’d be up for pulling out the winter stuff during the summer.

Because parkas just don’t look good on the beach.

Michele “Wojo” Wojciechowski, when she’s not turning the heat on, then off, then on again, writes “Wojo’s World®” from Baltimore. She’s also the author of the award-winning book Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box. You can connect with Wojo on Facebook or on Twitter.

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