Stop the Stalking Already!

Remember back in the day, when you could make an appointment—any kind of appointment—and you would write it in your calendar?

Then, you know, you’d show up. Easy Peasy.

Not anymore. 

Let me give you an example. When I see my dentist for a checkup, the person at the front desk gives me a card with the date and time written on it. This tells me when my next checkup is. I bring this card home, and I write the appointment in my calendar. (Yeah, I’m old school when it comes to calendars. Get Off My Lawn!) Then I text it to my husband, who puts it in his e-calendar. (He is not old school when it comes to calendars—big whoop.)

As a grownup, I would then assume that all I need to do is show up on the proper day and time for the aforementioned next appointment. Right? Seems reasonable.

But before I’m even home, my dentist’s office has texted me, reminding me of this appointment that will take place six months from now.

Then I get an email about it.

A month before, I get another text about it.

A week before, I get another text about it.

I think that even once, I got another text about it on the night before.

When I went in for my checkup, I told the front office staff that they didn’t need to remind me so much. I would remember to come.

“We have to because most people don’t,” a staff member said. 

“Even if you tell them the day before?” I queried.

“Yes. We have sent the automated text reminder the day before only to have the person not show up the next day,” she replied.

So here’s my question—WHAT EXACTLY IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? 

If it were due to an emergency, I would totally understand. 

I think this all started, when we began storing phone numbers in our smart phones. I know folks who have no idea not only what their phone number is, but what anyone else’s is either. So if they need to call someone because they’ve lost their phone, they’re screwed.

And there is no phone book to look up numbers in. Besides that, you can’t Google the person because you’ve lost your smart phone. 

Yet no one remembers anything anymore…

But it’s not just my dentist. He’s a great guy, and I’m not going to throw him under the “remind me 75,000 times at all cost” bus. 

Here’s another example: I had to see an eye specialist. But one day, because of an issue—which turned out to be nothing—I had to see him at another office.

So now, that office and his regular office keep reminding me to get an eye exam. That’s two emails and two texts every single time. 

The kicker is that he’s a specialist and not even the doctor I go to for my regular yearly checkups.

The only good thing about the double notices is that they both send me “Happy Birthday” wishes via email each year. But nothing cool like a free doughnut or something like that…

But I digress…

Do you want to talk about pharmacies now? I do. I’m not going to name any names because I’ve checked with friends, and it’s not just my pharmacy that does this. So they can all take the blame.

My husband and I (and even one of our dogs) each get a monthly prescription. Here’s how it works: first, I get a text saying that my prescription is ready. We want to wait for all of them to be ready before we pick them up, and even though we’ve signed up for the program to do this, we each get text message.

Except for the dog. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

Then I get a text saying something to the effect of “Your pharmacist has filled your prescription. Please come pick it up.”

Next is one telling me that it’s 8 days until they will reshelve the prescription. No pressure.

Then the countdown really begins: 5 days, 4 days, 3 days…you get the picture.

But so do the phone calls. And they get progressively more urgent.

“You only have three more days to pick up your prescription!”

I know! I’ve been busy.

Even our dog received an automated phone call.

When I put the phone up to his ear, he gave me the nasty side-eye. 

See, not even our happy pup wants a reminder.

If they ever get a dog who actually answers the phone, though, I’d love to hear about that. 

Send me all the reminders of the talking dog that you want.

Michele “Wojo” Wojciechowski, when she’s fielding phone calls and texts from her pharmacy or doctors’ offices, writes “Wojo’s World®” from Baltimore. She’s also the author of the award-winning book Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box. You can connect with Wojo on Facebook or on Twitter.

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