Judgement Day

Suddenly, everyone seems interested in me.

No, I’m not on dating sites. I’m happily married, thank you very much.

I don’t mean that tons of people are sending me Facebook friend requests. (Although if you read this column regularly, you’ve read about all the fake men who want me to friend/date/marry them.)

What I’m talking about is how everyone wants me to give them a review.

And when I say everyone, I really do mean everyone.

This started happening a few years ago, and when it began, I didn’t mind it so much. If I bought a product, online companies would ask me to review it. “Did you like it?” they would ask.

Since it happened so infrequently, I would weigh in. I’d rank it and give a sentence or two about it. No problem.

But now things have changed: everyone wants a review.

If I go to my doctor (or do a telehealth appointment, as I’ve been doing during the pandemic), by the next day, they want me to write a review.

I did this the first time. But each time I have a visit, they ask for another one.

Um, I’m doing this from my home, I’ve been seeing the same doctor for a decade. I want to type back, “C’mon people! Nothing has changed!”

I had to see a specialist, and I discovered that most, if not all, doctors are doing this now.

You don’t just rank the doctor, but the staff, the wait time, the cleanliness of the waiting room, of the exam room, of the bathroom (did you use it while here? Please check yes or no), etc. What’s next? Are they going to ask me if I enjoyed the elevator ride to the third floor? What about the elevator music? Was it from a group that I usually enjoy—you know, when it’s the real song and not the Muzak version?

Are you kidding me? I’m just glad that the eye exam went well. I was concerned about my eye not how clean the waiting room was.

I mean, I guess if they had an overflowing trash can, I would have noticed. But so would everyone else.

And I was there for an eye exam, I might not have been able to see it. Or the email survey that followed.

Every time I buy an item now—since the pandemic—every place I order from wants my opinion. I understand this; I really do.

But about everything?

“How was our delivery?” is in an email all its own now. And some places won’t just let you rate based on stars. In fact, they won’t take your “star rating” unless you also type a line or two.

And if I order items that have to be delivered in many batches, I get emails asking about all of them.

Every. Single. One.

I’m waiting to get an email like this: Hi! You glanced at the front window of our shop while driving by at 50 miles an hour, and we’d like your opinion!

Sorry, I didn’t see it. I was on my way to the eye doctor.

The one I haven’t seen yet and am expecting any day is: Thanks for taking our survey! Do you have a minute to take a survey on our survey?

That will be just endless…

Michele “Wojo” Wojciechowski, when she’s giving her opinion about everything but the things she’s bought or the doctors she’s seen, writes “Wojo’s World®” from Baltimore. She’s also the author of the award-winning book Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box. You can connect with Wojo on Facebook or on Twitter.

Did you know that Wojo has a newsletter? It’s full of fun stories, facts, and contests. And she won’t spam you because she doesn’t know how, and it’s bad Karma. Email her at Wojo@WojosWorld.com to subscribe.