Dear Readers—I know you’re out there, and sometimes I even hear from you.
Such was the case when Essex resident Howard Sheckells wrote to me. He suggested a column topic that hits close to home for everyone—especially if you’ll be heading to the grocery store to shop for Thanksgiving dinner.
(And know that I contacted Howard to make sure that it was okay for me to use his name in the paper.)
Howard pointed out something that I’ve been noticing a lot lately. Whether we like it or not, we’re being put on what he calls “an apparent diet.” How is that possible when we keep hearing about how the country is obese?
That’s easy: companies are giving us less products without cutting the price.
Confused? Have no fear; Wojo and Howard are here.
Howard writes that it seems nearly everything in the grocery store has shrunk in size. Jellied cranberry sauce—which many of you may be buying for Thanksgiving—used to be 16 oz. Now? It’s shrunk to 14 oz.
Has the price? Um, nope.
Boxes of cereal have shrunk, but if you look at them head on, you may not notice. While the height and length of the box looks the same, turn it to the side and check out the width. It’s thinner. Is the price?
Nope again.
Ice cream, which once was sold by the half gallon, is now sold in a 1 1/2 quart package. Cans of tuna, once in 6 oz. cans, are now sold in 4 3/4, 5 1/4, or 5 1/2 oz. amounts.
Why am I spending a column complaining about groceries? Well, besides the fact that we’re all getting—ahem—totally ripped off, our tried-and-true recipes are now all screwed up.
For example, I make chili using my late mom’s recipe. It calls for a 16-oz. can of kidney beans. Now, kidney beans come in 15 oz. cans.
What in the heck am I supposed to do now? Open up another can and figure out a way to use 14 oz.? Buy 16 cans so that I can make 15 batches and use 16 ounces of beans in each batch?
We like that chili, but I don’t think we want to be eating only that all winter long.
In fact, I don’t think anyone wants us eating nothing but chili all winter long…
What if a recipe calls for a can of tuna? If it’s only 4 3/4 ounces, how am I supposed to figure out how much to use? This is now going to require math. Lots of math. And not the kind that we’re used to using when cooking or baking.
Like, if you make a double batch of something, that’s easy. You double all the ingredients.
If you’re making a smaller batch, you cut everything in half.
But today, if you’re making a batch, and you’re using something in a can or a box, well, you might just need to pull out your calculator.
Or your smartphone.
Or an abacus…
Because this is not your grandmother’s math—a pinch here, or a dash there.
Nope. This is getting into NASA-type math.
And I’m not a rocket scientist. I just wanted to make chili.
My husband went to the grocery store a few weeks ago to buy some tomato soup. It was just getting cold, and we thought that it would be nice to have grilled cheese and tomato soup for our Saturday lunch.
When he came home and put the cans on our kitchen table, I was stunned. They looked like cans from a kitchen playset. They were so much smaller!
Of course, we had to use more soup. So he bought an additional can. So the companies made more money…
You see where I’m going with this?
What’s even worse, though, is when you buy something like potato chips, and you open the bag only to discover that while they’ve changed the ounces of chips actually in the bag, they haven’t cut back on the size of the bag. So you open it up to discover that you’re paying the same amount for less chips and more air.
Last time I checked, air was free. Unless, of course, you’re filling your tires at a gas station.
Seriously? They charge us for air?
My Mother-in-law recently pointed out that cake mixes are smaller. And this is especially problematic because she has no idea how to use her “Cake Doctor” cookbook now.
Will she have to buy 14, 15, or even 16 boxes of cake mix to even it all out? If we all get our own cakes for Christmas, we’ll know the answer.
With all this math use, at least my high school teachers will be happy. Because it seems that I’ll finally be using algebra, trigonometry, and calculus in everyday life.
When all I wanted to do was make some chili…
Thanks again, Howard!!!
Michele Wojciechowski, when she’s not being crabby about the smaller amount of crab meat in a can, writes Wojo’s World® from Baltimore.