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Cicadas Here, Cicadas There, Stupid Cicadas Everywhere!
By Michele Wojciechowski on June 10, 2021
As the little girl said in front of the snowy television screen in Poltergeist, “They’re heeeeeeeerrrrrreeeee!” The big red-eyed, large-winged, drunk-flying, 17-years-underground cicadas are out here in Maryland. And they are out in droves! A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I, being way-too-curious about these monsters from my nightmares, decided to check our […]
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I’m Not a Doctor, but I Play One on the Web
By Michele Wojciechowski on May 27, 2021
While I love the Internet, there’s one thing about it that makes me run screaming away from my computer. Is it because I can learn—up to the minute—what crisis is going on in the lives of each and every Kardashian? Nope. Because I keep getting ads that ask if I want to become a million-dollar […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged abdominal pain, allergies, amputation, author, award winning, book, but I Play One on the Web, constipation, cyber, Dr. Oz, Facebook, freckle, Funny, gangrene, glaucoma, headache, heart attack, Humor, humor book, I'm not a Doctor, I’m Not a Doctor but I Play One on the Web, infection, internet, irritable bowel syndrome, Kardashian, medical, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, Michele Wojo Wojciechowski, MicheleWojo, migraine, newsletter, Next Time I Move, Next Time I Move They'll Carry Me Out in a Box, Next Time I Move They'll Carry Me Out in a Box book, pancreatitis, search, seasonal allergies, symptom, symptoms, tension headache, Twitter, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, Wojo'sWorld, Wojo@WojosWorld.com, wojosworld.com, www.wojosworld.com
Freaking People Out is as Easy as a Shot in the Ear
By Michele Wojciechowski on February 25, 2021
I’ve found that there are simple things you can say that will immediately get people’s attention. Like, “Hey, I won the lottery.” Or, “Look, they’re giving away free beer.” And, “I got a needle in my eardrum.”
Posted in Columns | Tagged author, book, cochlea, dizziness, dizzy, ear nose and throat doctor, ear problem, eardrum, ENT, ENT1, ENT2, Facebook, faint, fainted, Freaking People Out is as Easy as a Shot in the Ear, free beer, Funny, GI Joe, implode, inner ear, Kung Fu Grip, lottery, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, Michele Wojo Wojciechowski, MicheleWojo, needle, needles, newsletter, Next Time I Move, Next Time I Move They'll Carry Me Out in a Box, Next Time I Move They'll Carry Me Out in a Box book, oral steroids, shudder, standup, Twitter, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, Wojo'sWorld, Wojo@WojosWorld.com, wojosworld.com, www.wojosworld.com
What Day Is It?
By Michele Wojciechowski on October 1, 2020
I never thought I’d be this way. At least not until I retired. But let’s face it—writers never really retire. They tend to drop dead at their desks. I’d actually like to go in my sleep. So perhaps I’ll fall asleep on my desk—and then drop dead. Though I don’t want that to happen for […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged contacts, conversation, day, day of the week, dentist, eye doctor, Facebook, fate, grinding, home office, husband, karma, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, Michele Wojo Wojciechowski, newsletter, Next Time I Move They'll Carry Me Out in a Box, Next Time I Move They'll Carry Me Out in a Box book, night guard, quarantine, reading glasses, retire, teeth, The Boxer, Twitter, vision, week, wfh, What Day Is It, wojo, Wojo'sWorld, wojosworld.com, work from home, working from home, writer, www.wojosworld.com
The Weekend My Husband Got Sick
By Michele Wojciechowski on April 23, 2015
My husband doesn’t get sick very often. But when he does, it’s usually with something mild—like a cold or a sore throat—and he spends the next 48-72 hours driving me crazy and acting like a whiny baby. Please know that I love my husband. I really do. Because of this–and because we’ve been together, well, […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged annoying, Baby, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, bathroom, bedroom, behavior, Bert, bug, cape, cold, column, comedy, cough, coughs, coworkers, crackers, creeping crud, cup of tea, dehydrating, dessert, dinner, disinfectant, disinfected, doted, email, Facebook, facts, family, fever, friend, friends, fun, Funny, germs, God, grocery store, hazmat, heroine, home, Humor, humour, husband, keyboard, light, liquids, love, Lysol, Maryland, medicine, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, Monday, mothering, neighborhood, newsletter, office, perfect, praying, quotes, remote, sanitizer, Saturday, secret, secret weapon, sick, sore throat, stomach, supportive, Sweet, sweet tooth, sweets, tea, The Weekend My Husband Got Sick, thermometer, tissue, tooth, Tuesday, TV, typhoid, videos, virus, weapon, weekend, what's going around, whining, whiny, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo@WojosWorld.com, work, www.wojosworld.com
My Dog, the Night Owl
By Michele Wojciechowski on November 6, 2014
I’m a morning person. I’m not exactly sure when this happened because I have clear memories of my Mom having to do everything short of setting off a bomb in my room to get me up when I was in high school. Now, I tend to wake up between 5 and 5:30… Yes, that’s A.M. […]
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Now That It’s Almost Fall, It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like…Christmas?
By Michele Wojciechowski on September 11, 2014
I was looking on Facebook over the weekend, and a friend of mine shared a photo from a store she was in. All you could see were lighted and decorated Christmas trees. You read that correctly. And it wasn’t in a Christmas store.
Posted in Columns | Tagged 80's, aisle, Autumn, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, bathing, bathing suit, bathing suits, Bermuda shorts, birthday, buy, California, candy, cards, celebrate, celebrating, Christmas, Christmas shopping, Christmas tree, Christmas trees, Christmastime, clothes, coats, college, comedy, Cracker Barrel, decorated, decorations, DVD, early, example, Facebook, Fall, Florida, friend, Funny, garland, half priced, Halloween, Hawaiian shirt, Hecht's, high, Holiday, holidays, Humor, humour, husband, issue, issues, Jesus, lighted, March, margarita, Maryland, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, month, music, newsletter, Now That It's Almost Fall It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas, outfit, outfits, photo, Santa, season, selling, September, shopping, songs, store, stunned, suit, Summer, temperature, Thanksgiving, tinsel, toys, umbrella, weekend, weight, Winter, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, wojosworld.com, woman, www.wojosworld.com, year
Let’s Do the Time Warp…Again
By Michele Wojciechowski on August 28, 2014
If you’re a fan of the cult classic movie, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” and you began reading this column because you thought I was writing about it, let me clear things up right now. I’m not writing about “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” (I will admit to having seen the movie many, many times […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged 1980s, 30, 40, 40 is the new 30, 45, 60, adult, age, AMC, article, attic, author, awake, back to school, Bailey, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, busy, cable, Christmas, classic, college, column, columns, comedy, cult, drag, DVR, enjoy, fainted, Fallon, fast, faster, finale, flies, Funny, God, going to school, Golden Ring, Golden Ring Mall, guest, hair, half, having fun, high school, hit, hit songs, home, Horror, Humor, internet, Jimmy, Jimmy Fallon, keep track, keep track of time, kid, kindergarten, Labor Day, laughs, let's do the time warp again, life, literally, Mad Men, Maryland, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, midnight, monthly, months, movie, musical, new, new tech, new technology, newsletter, office, old, Picture, platform, portal, red haired, Rice, Rocky, Rocky Horror, Rocky Horror Picture Show, school, season, season finale, senior, senior year, show, shows, slow, social media, songs, stations, stimuli, Summer, summers, technology, television, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Roots, The Thompson Twins, The Tonight Show, The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Thompson Twins, time, time flies, time flies when you're having fun, Tom, Tom Bailey, Tonight, topic, touring, twice, vacation, weekend, weeknight, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, wojosworld.com, write, writing, www.wojosworld.com, year
Only in the Movies: 3D
By Michele Wojciechowski on August 16, 2013
Dear readers, it’s time for one more episode of “Only in the Movies,” where you learn about more things that only happen in the movies, but don’t happen in real life. Why? Because it’s the summer, and I’ll bet you’ve gone to the movies or have watched some at home recently.
Posted in Columns | Tagged 3D, accused, apartment, asphalt, assailant, attention, attract, attract attention, auto, auto mechanic, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, big, big cheese, blood, book, books, bulletproof vest, bullets, Catholic, clothesline, clothing, columns, comedy, commit, computer, convict, convicts, dangerous situation, dirt, escaped, exact size, FBI, Funny, guilt, guilt ridden, gun, happen, head honcho, helmets, house, Humor, humour, jail, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, movies, newspaper, Next Time I Move They'll Carry Me Out in a Box, Next Time I Move They'll Carry Me Out in a Box book, on the lam, on the run, only in the movies, orange jumpers, orange jumpsuit, outfit, outfits, Parade, Parade.com, prison, protective gear, raid, real life, running, rural, rural area, sausage, service station, shield, shields, shot, small, squeezed, steel, street, Summer, tent, undetected, uniform, uniforms, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, worker bees, wrongly, wrongly accused, www.Parade.com, www.wojosworld.com
Our Beautiful Daisy
By Michele Wojciechowski on April 26, 2013
Regular readers of this column are familiar with our dogs who, until Riley the Wonder Dog, preferred to go by pseudonyms to protect their privacy. Snoopy was actually named Scooby, Steve was really Rascal, and our sweet girl Rose was really named Daisy. Four years ago, Scooby passed. Rascal followed a little over two […]
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