Michele Wojciechowski
Sweet Dreams, You Big Liar
By Michele Wojciechowski on January 29, 2015
I don’t like to lie. I was raised to tell the truth, even if it was difficult. Like when my Mom’s stained-glass lamp broke. But let’s not talk about that… I take after my Mom in that there is no “bull” with me; if you ask my opinion, I’ll give you an honest one. Sure, […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged age, asleep, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, bed, blouse, broke, bull, color, comedy, comfortable, computer, couch, dear, dirty, dogs, dreams, example, excited, explode, eyes, facts, fell off, flames, friend, friends, friendship, Funny, hair, home, honest, house, Humor, humour, husband, Jokes, Julie, lamp, laughing, Liar, lie, little, log off, Maryland, metaphorically, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, Mom, natural, newsletter, newspaper, nice, open, opinion, pants, parents, phone, program, quotes, readers, secret, shameful, shopping, speaking, stained glass, stylist, swear, Sweet, Sweet Dreams You Big Liar, teenager, television, tell the truth, temper, tired, to tell the truth, truth, turnip truck, TV, videos, watch, watching, wide, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor
My Dog, the Night Owl
By Michele Wojciechowski on November 6, 2014
I’m a morning person. I’m not exactly sure when this happened because I have clear memories of my Mom having to do everything short of setting off a bomb in my room to get me up when I was in high school. Now, I tend to wake up between 5 and 5:30… Yes, that’s A.M. […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged 5, 5 am, 5:30, 5:30 am, 8, 8 p.m., 8 pm, A.M., a.m. 5:00, afternoon, alive, antics, asleep, awake, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, band, bed, bedroom, bomb, bright and early, business, cat nap, cat naps, catnap, catnaps, chute, column, comedy, complain, complains, constructing, cute, do his business, dog, doggie, dogs, early, early bird, early birds, face, fail, family, flea, fleas, foot, Funny, giant, go out, groan, groans, head, high school, hire, hiring, house, Humor, humour, husband, joke, joked, jump, late, lick, living room, loud, loudest, marching, marching band, Maryland, member, memories, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, middle of the night, moan, moans, moans and groans, Mom, morning, morning person, My Dog the Night Owl, My Life With Riley, nap, naps, night, night owl, nightowl, noise, noises, outside, P.M., pace, pacing, person, pillow, plan, play, pm, pretend, pretended, program, rest, Riley, room, running, school, scratch, scratches, sleep, sleeps, sliding board, slurp, slurping, Snoopy, surprise, surrender, surrenders, teenage, teenager, tired, toy, wake, website, weekend, weekends, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, wojosworld.com, www.wojosworld.com, yard, yawn, yawns
The Tooth, the Whole Tooth, and Nothing But the Tooth
By Michele Wojciechowski on October 9, 2014
Everyone has fears. Some people are afraid of snakes (not me). Or public speaking (not me, again). Or going to the dentist (still not me…oh, wait).
Posted in Columns | Tagged 24/7, adult, amazed, appointment, attributes, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, Beautiful, beautiful friendship, blind date, boy, card, care, chisel, chiseled, column, comedy, consultation, convince, convinced, cotton, credentials, decades, dental, dental practice, dentist, dentistry, different, disease, doctor, Dr. Lincoln Frank, earth, emergency, experience, fear, fears, filling out forms, finding a new dentist, fine, floss, flossing, forms, freaking out, free, friends, Funny, future, God, God was a boy, grieved, gum, gums, hands, high school, Hopkins, hugged, Humor, humour, husband, instruments, insurance, internet, involved, kid, kind, list, little, long term relationship, love, lucky, machine, Maryland, mess, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, mouth, must haves, nervous, nice, nurse, office, old, old and gray, opinion, opinions, oral, patient, picky, practice, public, public speaking, question, records, residency, retire, retiring, scared, screen, selective, smart, smitten, snakes, social media, speaking, staff, stone, tablets, teeth, The tooth the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth, upset, website, websites, wife, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, work, x-ray, x-rays, xray, xrays, younger
Let Your Fingers Do the Walking…
By Michele Wojciechowski on September 25, 2014
THUNK! That used to be the sound we would hear when the delivery man would plunk down two huge phone books on our front steps—the white pages and the yellow pages. We used them all the time. As the internet has become so important in our daily lives, I haven’t used one of those phone […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged adult, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, book, books, business, car seat, cell phone, column, comedy, computer, computers, dashboard, delivered, delivery, dictionary, down the toilet, encyclopedia, eyes, eyesight, face, Funny, giant, gnat, head, huge, Humor, humour, important, internet, ladies, laughs, let your fingers do the walking, lives, man, Maryland, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, monthly, newsletter, number, old, phone, phone book, phone books, police, remember, rolodex, screen, search, shopping, size, small, smart, Smart Phone, smartphone, sound, squinting, steps, strength, suspect, swipe, television, The Big Yellow Book, the white pages, the yellow pages, threaten, tiny, toilet, TV, twice monthly, villagers, vision, white pages, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, yellow pages
Now That It’s Almost Fall, It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like…Christmas?
By Michele Wojciechowski on September 11, 2014
I was looking on Facebook over the weekend, and a friend of mine shared a photo from a store she was in. All you could see were lighted and decorated Christmas trees. You read that correctly. And it wasn’t in a Christmas store.
Posted in Columns | Tagged 80's, aisle, Autumn, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, bathing, bathing suit, bathing suits, Bermuda shorts, birthday, buy, California, candy, cards, celebrate, celebrating, Christmas, Christmas shopping, Christmas tree, Christmas trees, Christmastime, clothes, coats, college, comedy, Cracker Barrel, decorated, decorations, DVD, early, example, Facebook, Fall, Florida, friend, Funny, garland, half priced, Halloween, Hawaiian shirt, Hecht's, high, Holiday, holidays, Humor, humour, husband, issue, issues, Jesus, lighted, March, margarita, Maryland, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, month, music, newsletter, Now That It's Almost Fall It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas, outfit, outfits, photo, Santa, season, selling, September, shopping, songs, store, stunned, suit, Summer, temperature, Thanksgiving, tinsel, toys, umbrella, weekend, weight, Winter, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, wojosworld.com, woman, www.wojosworld.com, year
Let’s Do the Time Warp…Again
By Michele Wojciechowski on August 28, 2014
If you’re a fan of the cult classic movie, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” and you began reading this column because you thought I was writing about it, let me clear things up right now. I’m not writing about “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” (I will admit to having seen the movie many, many times […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged 1980s, 30, 40, 40 is the new 30, 45, 60, adult, age, AMC, article, attic, author, awake, back to school, Bailey, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, busy, cable, Christmas, classic, college, column, columns, comedy, cult, drag, DVR, enjoy, fainted, Fallon, fast, faster, finale, flies, Funny, God, going to school, Golden Ring, Golden Ring Mall, guest, hair, half, having fun, high school, hit, hit songs, home, Horror, Humor, internet, Jimmy, Jimmy Fallon, keep track, keep track of time, kid, kindergarten, Labor Day, laughs, let's do the time warp again, life, literally, Mad Men, Maryland, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, midnight, monthly, months, movie, musical, new, new tech, new technology, newsletter, office, old, Picture, platform, portal, red haired, Rice, Rocky, Rocky Horror, Rocky Horror Picture Show, school, season, season finale, senior, senior year, show, shows, slow, social media, songs, stations, stimuli, Summer, summers, technology, television, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Roots, The Thompson Twins, The Tonight Show, The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Thompson Twins, time, time flies, time flies when you're having fun, Tom, Tom Bailey, Tonight, topic, touring, twice, vacation, weekend, weeknight, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, wojosworld.com, write, writing, www.wojosworld.com, year
It’s the End of the World as We Know It …Literally
By Michele Wojciechowski on August 14, 2014
We all have various roles in life. For me, I’m a wife, friend, relative, writer, helper…the list could go on and on. I’m also a member of the Grammar Police. I can’t help it. Working as a writer has made me see grammar errors as glaring mistakes in the history of humankind. Or at least […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged absolute, absolutely, acceptable, annoy, annoys, author, authors, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, barrier, book, boss, bug, chained, clean, cold, column, columns, comprehend, comprehending, compress, correct, desk, devastation, dictionary, disaster, dog, double, drove, edit, editing, enter, entire, error, errors, exaggerate, exaggeration, explode, faint, fast, favorite, favorites, figuratively, format, friends, Funny, genetic, grammar, grammar police, grammarian, grammarians, grammatical, happen, happened, head, history, humankind, Humor, humour, hyperbole, i'm so hungry i could eat a horse, i'm so hungry i could literally eat a horse, incorrect, inherit, inherited, insight, it's, It's the End of the World as We Know It, itself, key, laughs, lesson, lever, library, life, limits, listen, literally, loath, loathed, Maryland, Merriam Webster, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, Mom, monthly, negative, negatives, newsletter, occurred, over the edgs, pen, perfect, perfectly, police, real, really, report, return, run on sentence, run on sentences, sentence, shenanigans, sound, stat, stuff, title, truly, twice monthly, typewriter, William Faulkner, willy nilly, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, wondering, working, writer, wrong
Scamming Me in Another Language
By Michele Wojciechowski on July 31, 2014
If you’ve ever been on the internet for any length of time like say, oh five minutes or so, then you know what it is full of… Lots of amazing information, beautiful photos, fun facts, thought-provoking material, and videos of every kind that you could ever imagine. Yeah, that’s exactly what I was going to […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged access, accident, account, address, advocate, Africa, alley, amazed, amazing, another language, April, assist, away, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, bar, bar bet, barrister, Beautiful, bed, bet, book, bowling, bridge, bucks, butt, car, child, claim, client, Col. Potter, colonel, Colonel Potter, comedy, contact, contest, counsel, creative, debunk, debunked, die, distribution, documents, dollars, dupa, email, embassy, engineer, expressway, facts, family, fight, fights, fist, fun, Funny, google, grandmother, grave, Gregory, hockey, home, horse, Humor, humor book, humour, imagine, information, internet, killed, kindergarten, kiss, land, language, leave, legal, legend, lie, lies, life, lottery, love, maiden, married, Maryland, mash, material, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, million, money, name, Nigeria, Nigerians, office, passed, passed away, personal, photo, photos, phrase, phrases, Polish, potter, private, provoking, question, questions, reader, relative, resource, resources, rich, scam, scamming, Scamming me in another language, scams, show, Snopes, Snopes.com, spam, spammer, spammers, speak, swamp, swampland, taught, thought, Togo, Translate, TV, U.S., United States, urban, US, useful, value, valued, Video, videos, Walla Walla Washington, West, wife, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, won, word, words, world wide web
It All Adds Up
By Michele Wojciechowski on July 17, 2014
I used to be really good at math. And I mean really good… I was in honors math in high school. When I decided to major in English and writing in college, I breezed through the required math classes I took. In high school, I was even in Mathletes. Go ahead and make all your […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged addition, advice, amusement, awards, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, being funny, Big Bang Theory, bill, brain, calculate, calculated, calculus, cashier, cents, channel, cheap, college, comedy, daily, deduce, deduced, digress, dollar, dollar store, domestic goddess, embarrass, embarrassing, English, fiasco, files, fingers, five, floor, folks, footballs, forgotten, friend, Funny, good at math, high school, hilarious, home, honors, Humor, humour, husband, hysterically, important, It All Adds Up, Jokes, kids, laugh, laughing, learning, line, major, married, Maryland, math, mathematical, Mathletes, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, mistake, nerd, notes, numbers, office, old, penny, point, purchase, purge, quickly, rain man, razor, required, roller skate, semester, sharp, skills, smiling, speaking, store, story, stuff, subtraction, think, toothpicks, total, unimportant, whoops, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, word, worker, writing, wrong
Painting Myself into a Corner Again (or Part Deux)
By Michele Wojciechowski on June 19, 2014
So, remember my last column when I was talking about my husband and me painting our front porch? What? You didn’t read that one? Sigh…okay. Go on to your computer right now, go to the East County Times website, and read it. We’ll wait. Tick, tick, tick, tick… Back yet? Finally! I mean, okay, let’s […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged 80's, 90's, adhere, adhered, awoke, babies, Baby, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, beautified, bed, bedroom, birth, bundle, bundled, cabbage, Cabbage Patch Kid, can, ceiling, chair, chemical, chemicals, child, childbirth, chipped, Christmas, Christmastime, column, columns, comedy, computer, curse, cursing, dated, doll, East County Times, exhausted, face, faded, faint, faithful, floor, foot, friend, front, full, Funny, gloves, half, home, house, Humor, humour, husband, impression, improvement, incompetent, July, KArate Kid, kid, like, literally, long, long gloves, MacGyver, Maryland, mask, masks, mauve, memories, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, mishaps, Mr. Miyagi, office, online, pain, paint can, painting, painting myself into a corner, painting myself into a corner again, part deux, patch, porch, post, posts, prep, project, projects, Ralph MAcchio, read, readers, redo, rot, rotted, rotting, saturate, saturated, scrape, scraped, sitcom, sneaker, solution, special, specialist, specialists, spindles, strip, stripped, suit, suit up, The Karate Kid, Tim Allen, Tim Taylor, totally, treasure, wallpaper, website, without a hitch, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, woman, world