By Michele Wojciechowski on May 7, 2015
By the time you are reading this, I will have returned from my trip to New York City. I go once a year for a professional conference. As I write this, it’s a couple of days before I leave. But one of my dogs already knows. I have no idea how he knows, but he […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged angry, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, bathroom, bed, bedroom, blanket, brat, business, can, cans, care, clean, clingy, clunk, column, comedy, conference, couch, cranky, crate, day, desk, doesn't care, dog, doggie, Doggie Intuition, dogs, dream, dreaming, email, excited, facts, file, files, find, found, freaked, freaked out, friends, full, fun, Funny, get the point, hall, head, hiding, holder, home, hot, Humor, humour, husband, ignore, imagine, Intuition, learn, learned, leaving, listen, listened, living, living room, love seat, loveseat, Mad, mad dog, Mae, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, miffed, minute, month, morning, New York City, newsletter, night, opposable, opposable thumbs, pillow, pillows, pink, point, poo, professional, pull, pup, purple, quotes, rest, resting, Riley, room, run, running, scatter, Scooby, shred, sign up, suitcase, supplies, throw, thumb, thumbs, ticked off, tissue, tissues, town, trainer, trash, trashcan, trashcans, treat, twice, videos, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo@WojosWorld.com, wonder, wondering, yard
By Michele Wojciechowski on April 9, 2015
I have an excellent memory. Really—in that it’s so good that sometimes it’s almost creepy. Here’s an example for you: I’ll hear a song on the radio or while my husband and I are out. Here’s what comes next, I say something like, “I remember this song! It was out the first year we were […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged actor, age, alien, aliens, all time, ardent, around, avoid, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, bench, benefit, benefits, black and white, brain, busy, cabinet, captured, champion, clue, column, comedy, curse, dating, Dave, dementia, digress, dress, dry, dry clean, email, events, excellent, fact, facts, file, file cabinet, friends, fun, Funny, gift, hand wash, head, headache, heads, home, horrible, Humor, humour, husband, important, Inner Harbor, internet, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Jeopardy, join, Kevin, Kevin Kline, Kline, looking, looking around, losing, Maryland, memory, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, mind, minds, month, nervous breakdown, newsletter, no, no clue, office, only, pantry, pinpoint, pod people, political, question, quote, quotes, Radio, recognize, remember, restaurant, room, Rusty Scupper, screwing up, skin, slight, sneezing, song, spare, spy, standing, stress, sweet potato fries, sweet tea, talent, talk, think, thought, thoughts, tournament, toxin, tumor, twice monthly, upstairs, Video, videos, Why Am I In This Room, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo@WojosWorld.com
By Michele Wojciechowski on March 26, 2015
Over the years, I have been becoming more and more of a sports fan. I’ve always loved baseball, and I enjoy indoor soccer. Nearly seven years ago, I became a true blue football fan. But basketball?
Posted in Columns | Tagged 143, Abbey, Arizona, associate, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, band, baseball, basketball, Bombeck, book, book signing, books, bracket, brackets, British, Buffalo, Butler, Carson, character, chicken, choosing, Cincinnatti, coach, colleagues, college, column, comedy, Dayton, Downton, Downton Abbey, Drew Forrester, DrewsMorningDish.com, Duke, Erma, Erma Bombeck, facts, faculty, fan, favorite, film, Fiona, football, Fred, free, friend, friends, fun, Funny, Geln Campbell, Goo Goo Dolls, graduate, great, guy, Hampton, HBO, head, home, Humor, humorist, humour, husband, I love you, Indiana, Indiana Jones, indoor soccer, Johnny Rzeznik, karma, Kentucky, Lafayette, laugh, laughing, lead, lead singer, liked, likes, local, madness, March, March Madness, Marquette University, Maryland, memory, method, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, Midwest, movie, NCAA, newsletter, Northeastern, Notre Dame, office, personality, points, prizes, pronounce, Providence, Purdue, quotes, rationale, Rudy, school, score, season, series, show, singer, soccer, speak, sports, Steve Wojciechowski, teams, Texas, The Method of my Madness, tie, True Blood, try, uniform, uniforms, United States, University of Dayton, Valparaiso, videos, Villanova, Virginia, West, Wichita, Wichita Lineman, Wichita St, win, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, Wojo@WojosWorld.com, woman, work, works, writers' workshop
By Michele Wojciechowski on March 12, 2015
My husband and I have two dogs: Riley, the overactive pup, and, Mae. Her name isn’t really Mae, but she prefers to go by a pseudonym. She’s a proper Southern lady, having come to us via Alabama, and she doesn’t want her friends to know if she’s done something wrong. If that happened, there would […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged Alabama, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, bath, bathing, baths, belle, blanket, Bless, Bless her, carpet, chasing, clean, comedy, couch, Daisy, days, dirt, dirty, dog, doggie, dogs, drag, drags, drinking, ears, email, face, facts, family, floor, Fluffy, friend, friends, Funny, furniture, fuzzy, growled, guy, happy, head, house, Humor, humour, husband, imagine, julep, jump, kindergarten, lady, lean, little, Mae, Maryland, melt, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, mint, mint julep, mint juleps, Mom, mud, name, neck, newsletter, overactive, park, pearly, pearly whites, pitiful, playing, poo, proper, pseudonym, pup, quotes, Rascal, Riley, romp, running, Scooby, scooches, snow, soaked, Southern, Spring, stay, stink, The Baths Have Gone To The Dogs, towel, trump, trumps, tub, videos, washing, wet, White, whites, wiggle, wiggling, winced, wishes, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, Wojo@WojosWorld.com, worst
By Michele Wojciechowski on February 26, 2015
When I last left you on the edge of your seat, I was about to see Super Dentist to get something done about the lack of a front tooth. Only I could lose a tooth by eating pizza. After my dentist looked at the gaping hole, he had good news and bad news.
Posted in Columns | Tagged agent, aleck, Baby, baby tooth, bad news, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, beauty, best, best friends, between, bone, bone graft, Brace Yourself, cadavers, cap, Chicklet, column, comedy, dead, dentist, details, eat, edge of your seat, fact, fainted, flipper, friends, front tooth, Funny, girl, glue, good news, graft, Hawaii, head, hip, hip bone, Humor, humour, husband, implant, interesting, lose, Maryland, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, mold, mouth, newsletter, numb, numbed, oral, oral surgery, pageants, pearly gates, pearly whites, perfect, person, pizza, procedure, question, reality, reality show, safe, screw, Shakira, show, smart, smart aleck, smile, space, sterilize, stupid, Super, Super Dentist, surgery, teeth, The Tooth Is Still Stranger Than Fiction, Toddlers and Tiaras, travel, trip, vacation, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor
By Michele Wojciechowski on February 12, 2015
Friends have told me for years that they think weird stuff happens to me just so I have material for my column. I usually protest and say, “No. It’s just that I pay more attention to the absurd things in life than you do.” But after this past weekend, I have to wonder if they’re […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged 14, absurd, adult, argh!, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, bathroom, birthday, bit, call, canal, cap, capped, cob, cold, column, comedy, corn, corn on the cob, days, dentist, doc, drank, eat, eating, edge, email, emergency, fabulous, Facebook, facts, Fall, fast forward, focused, freak out, free, friends, front teeth, fun, Funny, game, gap, head, Hee Haw, hot, husband, hyperventilate, implode, imploded, jagged, Jimmy Fallon, line, Maryland, material, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, mirror, months, mouth, mouths, new, newsletter, normal, phone, Picture, piercing, pizza, pulp, quotes, root, same bat channel, same bat time, sensation, smarty pants, space, stranger than fiction, stub, stuff, Super, Super Dentist, take a picture, taser, tasered, teeth, The Tonight Show, the tooth is stranger than fiction, the truth is stranger than fiction, tongue, Tonight Show, tooth, vacation, videos, voicemail, weekend, weeks, weird, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, Wojo@WojosWorld.com, x-ray, x-rays, xray, xrays, young
By Michele Wojciechowski on November 6, 2014
I’m a morning person. I’m not exactly sure when this happened because I have clear memories of my Mom having to do everything short of setting off a bomb in my room to get me up when I was in high school. Now, I tend to wake up between 5 and 5:30… Yes, that’s A.M. […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged 5, 5 am, 5:30, 5:30 am, 8, 8 p.m., 8 pm, A.M., a.m. 5:00, afternoon, alive, antics, asleep, awake, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, band, bed, bedroom, bomb, bright and early, business, cat nap, cat naps, catnap, catnaps, chute, column, comedy, complain, complains, constructing, cute, do his business, dog, doggie, dogs, early, early bird, early birds, face, fail, family, flea, fleas, foot, Funny, giant, go out, groan, groans, head, high school, hire, hiring, house, Humor, humour, husband, joke, joked, jump, late, lick, living room, loud, loudest, marching, marching band, Maryland, member, memories, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, middle of the night, moan, moans, moans and groans, Mom, morning, morning person, My Dog the Night Owl, My Life With Riley, nap, naps, night, night owl, nightowl, noise, noises, outside, P.M., pace, pacing, person, pillow, plan, play, pm, pretend, pretended, program, rest, Riley, room, running, school, scratch, scratches, sleep, sleeps, sliding board, slurp, slurping, Snoopy, surprise, surrender, surrenders, teenage, teenager, tired, toy, wake, website, weekend, weekends, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, wojosworld.com, www.wojosworld.com, yard, yawn, yawns
By Michele Wojciechowski on September 25, 2014
THUNK! That used to be the sound we would hear when the delivery man would plunk down two huge phone books on our front steps—the white pages and the yellow pages. We used them all the time. As the internet has become so important in our daily lives, I haven’t used one of those phone […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged adult, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, book, books, business, car seat, cell phone, column, comedy, computer, computers, dashboard, delivered, delivery, dictionary, down the toilet, encyclopedia, eyes, eyesight, face, Funny, giant, gnat, head, huge, Humor, humour, important, internet, ladies, laughs, let your fingers do the walking, lives, man, Maryland, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, monthly, newsletter, number, old, phone, phone book, phone books, police, remember, rolodex, screen, search, shopping, size, small, smart, Smart Phone, smartphone, sound, squinting, steps, strength, suspect, swipe, television, The Big Yellow Book, the white pages, the yellow pages, threaten, tiny, toilet, TV, twice monthly, villagers, vision, white pages, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, yellow pages
By Michele Wojciechowski on August 14, 2014
We all have various roles in life. For me, I’m a wife, friend, relative, writer, helper…the list could go on and on. I’m also a member of the Grammar Police. I can’t help it. Working as a writer has made me see grammar errors as glaring mistakes in the history of humankind. Or at least […]
Posted in Columns | Tagged absolute, absolutely, acceptable, annoy, annoys, author, authors, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, barrier, book, boss, bug, chained, clean, cold, column, columns, comprehend, comprehending, compress, correct, desk, devastation, dictionary, disaster, dog, double, drove, edit, editing, enter, entire, error, errors, exaggerate, exaggeration, explode, faint, fast, favorite, favorites, figuratively, format, friends, Funny, genetic, grammar, grammar police, grammarian, grammarians, grammatical, happen, happened, head, history, humankind, Humor, humour, hyperbole, i'm so hungry i could eat a horse, i'm so hungry i could literally eat a horse, incorrect, inherit, inherited, insight, it's, It's the End of the World as We Know It, itself, key, laughs, lesson, lever, library, life, limits, listen, literally, loath, loathed, Maryland, Merriam Webster, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, Mom, monthly, negative, negatives, newsletter, occurred, over the edgs, pen, perfect, perfectly, police, real, really, report, return, run on sentence, run on sentences, sentence, shenanigans, sound, stat, stuff, title, truly, twice monthly, typewriter, William Faulkner, willy nilly, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, wondering, working, writer, wrong
By Michele Wojciechowski on April 24, 2014
There’s a saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Well, color me crazy. You know those clippy things on pens and mechanical pencils that allow you to clip them to your shirt pocket? Did you know that they have a name?
Posted in Columns | Tagged 12 step, angry, attacked, average, averages, bad habit, Baltimore, Baltimore Maryland, Baltimore MD, bed, big, brand new, break, breaking a bad habit, chew, clip, comedy, computer, container, couch, coworker, curse, day, daydream, deal, definition, desk, different, doing the same thing over and over, everything, expecting a different result, face, Fall, fanily, folks, friend, Funny, grand, group, guilty, habit, hangs, head, Humor, humour, husband, ink, insanity, keeping track, know, lead, Mad, Maryland, mechanical pencil, Michele Wojciechowski, Michele Wojo, mr., new, newspaper, pen, pencils, pens, phone, plastic, pocket, program, proud, result, room, saying, scheme, see through, shame, shirt, sleep, snap, snapped, snapping, the definition of insanity, twirling, two, week, wojo, Wojo's World, Wojo's World. humor, wolves, worked, writing, writing omplement