We’ve all heard the phrase “Christmas in July.” But when did that become the time when stores began decorating for it?
I’m all about the holidays; don’t get me wrong. I love the lights, the food, the decorations, the train gardens, the festivities, the parties, the spiritual celebrations…I absolutely love it all.
But when some big box stores decorated before Labor Day—Well, people, I feel that I need to take a stand.
Of course, we should celebrate. Absolutely. Then let’s pick a time for Christmas. I know it’s technically a “season,” as in “celebrating the Christmas Season.” But I never knew that meant it got its own three months just like winter, spring, summer, and fall. Or in this case, five or six months.
On November 16, radio stations in many states began to play all Christmas music all the time. Thanks to Facebook, I know this stuff now.
Seriously? What happened to waiting until after Thanksgiving? Or until December 1?
And while I’m at it, I’ve noticed that businesses have been sneaking it into our subconscious minds as well. I was recently in a grocery store—in early November—and I was listening to the popular music from my ‘80s teen years: Sting, U2, Devo…all the stuff that they’re playing in the grocery stores to make me feel comfortable, but it just makes me feel old.
But I digress…
I’m humming along. Then I realize that what I’m humming is “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.” I’m not kidding.
After that song was over—and this time I was paying attention—they slyly went back to ‘80s standards.
I heard that, grocery store. I know what you’re doing. You want me to start buying Christmas stuff really early.
Really, really early.
For the matter, why don’t we just add a little Christmas to everything? I can see it now: Santa hats on Jack-o-lanterns, Uncle Sam giving out presents on the 4th of July, and the Easter Bunny starting to make toys alongside the elves.
Perhaps then, Santa wouldn’t have to pay the elves benefits because he could put them all on part time. And the bunnies would probably work cheaper, as the only jobs they’ve had have been painting eggs and hiding baskets. So they’re used to just seasonal work. Let’s get the ghosts, goblins, and black cats working too. Why should they have more vacation?
I certainly hope that Hermey (yes, this is how he spells his name because I looked it up on the official website!) from the “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” Claymation cartoon actually became a dentist because all the elves are about to lose their dental insurance!
And why, for the love of God, did I think all these years that Hermey “the elf who wanted to be a dentist” was actually named HERBIE?
And did you know that this cartoon added the “toys getting rescued scene” after the first airing because of viewer outrage?
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Gasp…choke…sputter…
Whew…okay. I’m better. A little…
I could make some kind of compromise. I will officially agree to start Christmas the weekend before Thanksgiving.
I know; I’m sort of disgusted in myself too.
While I would rather have it start after Thanksgiving, it’s better than starting it before Labor Day.
You’ll have to excuse me. I need to go shopping, and if I don’t go now, I may miss out on the St. Patrick’s Day stuff.
Boy, wouldn’t that be unlucky…
Michele “Wojo” Wojciechowski, when she’s not griping about the earliness of “Ho, Ho, Ho,” and all other things Christmas, writes Wojo’s World™ from her home office in Baltimore.
Have you bought Wojo’s book, Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box, yet? You haven’t? Would you like to meet her and get a signed copy? Come on out to one of the following book signings:
Black Friday, November 23, from 1-3:30 p.m. at Greetings & Readings
Small Business Saturday, November 24, from 11 a.m. on at The Village Gem
Saturday, December 1, from 1-4 p.m. at Greetings & Readings
Sunday, December 2, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Baltimore Homeschool Community Center.
It makes a great stocking stuff and will give you lots of laughs! Watch this space for more December signings.