While I love the Internet, there’s one thing about it that makes me run screaming away from my computer.
Is it because I can learn—up to the minute—what crisis is going on in the lives of each and every Kardashian?
Nope.
Because I keep getting ads that ask if I want to become a million-dollar real estate agent?
Well, that’s annoying, but, um, no.
Because every single place I look, there’s information on what Dr. Oz thinks about weight loss?
Again, aggravating, but that’s not it either…
It’s because anytime I’ve looked up anything medically related on the web, I come really close to becoming a cyberchondriac.
Seriously.
I’ll admit that I take good care of myself. And that I will have something checked into with my doc if I think it’s a concern.
But, fair warning, be sure to NEVER ever type in a few symptoms and then do a search.
Why?
Let’s just say that you too may end up screaming like a lunatic, calling your husband crying, and start giving away your prized possessions because you’re sure that you’ve developed a horrible disease that will lead to terrible pain, rotting of limbs, and total spontaneous combustion.
Um, not that I ever did that. Nope, not me.
If you think I’m joking, try this example: When I type in “headache” and “eye pressure”—two things that happen to me sometimes when my seasonal allergies act up–here’s what comes up:
Tension headache.
Okay, I get that.
Migraine.
Not in this case, but that makes sense too.
Glaucoma…
What??!! Now I’m freaking out a bit.
I swear, I feel like I could type in that I have a cut on my arm, and if I looked enough through the search results, I would end up having an infection, gangrene, and then an amputation.
Let me try another one, you know, just for kicks.
I’ll type in “abdominal pain.” Let’s see what comes up.
Constipation.
Well, I could see that.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Yeah, that makes sense too.
A heart attack.
What?
Pancreatitis.
Seriously?
Cancer, of many kinds.
Um, how about the burrito I just ate? Or the broccoli? Or something else?!
This is why I no longer look up medical symptoms online. Because each time I do, I end up convinced that I am either about to buy the farm…
Kick the bucket.
Cash in my chips.
Okay, you get the drift.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t check out many other things online. Want a new pair of shoes? Sure. Desire some new books? Absolutely.
But I think there are just some things that we need to leave to the professionals—and actually let them talk with us or see what’s wrong.
Because otherwise, you might search your symptoms, and then go to bed, terrified to go to sleep because you are fearful that you will wake up with a foot growing out of your head.
Um, not that I’ve ever done that before…
Michele Wojciechowski, when she’s not desperately trying to keep herself away from the computer because she’s discovered a new freckle on her arm, writes “Wojo’s World® from Baltimore.