Welcome to Part II of “How to Celebrate the Holidays with Your Sanity Intact.” I’m your host Dr., um, I mean Columnist Wojo.
If you missed the last column, well, just forget it; you’re in trouble. Nah, just kidding. Go to my website WojosWorld.com (in Semi-New Stuff) and read it. Go ahead. We’ll wait.
You back now? Great. Let’s begin…
Tip 4. If you’re cooking, stick with what you know.
That doesn’t mean you can’t experiment with your cooking or try new recipes. Just don’t do that before you head out to a potluck holiday party.
I cannot stress the one enough. Unless you’re Rachel Ray or some other famous or quite skilled cook, don’t try a new recipe. Perhaps even if you are Rachel Ray (and, Rachel, if you’re reading this, love you!), don’t do it. Why?
Disaster will result.
Let me give you an example. Years ago, I was taking a photography class, and we decided to have a potluck before the Christmas break. I am known for the great cheesecakes I make. Everyone asked me to bring one. They were really looking forward to it.
As things go around the holidays, there was a lot to do, and I got busy. So instead of making the cheesecake the day before and allowing it to chill in the fridge overnight, I decided I could just make in on the day of the event. It would be cold and that would be good enough, right?
Wrong. So, so wrong…
Turns out that my recipe for chocolate chip cheesecake should really be followed to the letter. You need to chill it overnight. Do you know why?
Because if you don’t, some chemical reaction occurs and makes it too sweet.
Really too sweet.
So sweet, in fact, that you would gladly wash it down with a sugary soda and gargle with water fill with pixie sticks just to get the sugary taste of the cheesecake out your mouth.
It was horrible.
I was mortified.
With one baking moment, I went from Goddess of Baked Goods to That Woman in Our Class who is Funny, But Really Can’t Bake Worth a Darn.
Trust me; go with the tried and true, prepared like you always do.
Tip 5. Try to maintain rather than lose weight during the holidays.
I’ve known folks who have decided to begin their weight loss programs during the holiday season.
These are the same kind of folks who would bet it all on one poker hand or who would play “chicken” on a busy highway. The odds are stacked against them.
But if you really want to try to lose weight during the holidays…snicker…
Excuse me for a moment.
(Bah ha ha ha ha…oh my goodness…hee hee hee hee…Gasp. Snicker. Snort.)
Okay, I’m better now…
If you want to try to lose weight during the holidays, don’t do something that many magazines suggest. Don’t eat a meal before you go to a Christmas or other holiday party.
The experts in the magazines tout that this will fill you up and keep you from eating foods that are really rich and high in calories when you get to the party.
That’s a good theory. But let me tell you what will really happen…
You will eat a meal filled with veggies and perhaps some protein. You will feel really full.
Then you will get to the party. And you will see the buffet.
There will be carb-laden foods like homemade macaroni and cheese, scalloped potatoes, and bread pudding of all kinds. Appetizers like tiny quiche, and creamy dips, and mouth-watering spreads will be next to warm pita or sliced baguettes or tasty crackers. And at the end of the table, you will see the mother lode—desserts of all kinds: beautifully iced cakes, moist chocolate brownies, and every Christmas cookie known to the world, some brightly colored.
They will taunt you…”I’m just a tiny quiche. I can’t have a lot of calories. Eat a whole handful!”
Before you know it, you will have gorged yourself on everything fatty and good.
Then you will realize that, as full as you were, you have successfully snarfed down an entire second meal…and then some.
This wouldn’t be that bad…if you hadn’t already had a full meal before you got to the party.
Instead, just plan what you really, really love and let yourself have some of that. If it means that you take an extra-long walk the next day or play some more interactive games on the Wii, the so be it.
If you follow these tips, I guarantee that you will survive the holidays with your sanity intact. After all, I’m giving the advice and look at how well-adjusted I am.
Hey, wait a minute, I am too!
Really, I am!
Happy Holidays! See you in 2013, here in Wojo’s World®, where life is always funny…
Michele Wojciechowski, when she’s not following all her cheesecake recipes to the letter, writes Wojo’s World® from her home office.
Have you bought Wojo’s book, Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box, yet?
You haven’t? Would you like to meet her and get a signed copy?
Come on out to a book signing: On Saturday, December 22, Wojo will be signing books at The Village Gem in Perry Hall from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. and from 5 p.m until 8-ish.
At 2 p.m. on Saturday, December 22, she will be reading at the Southeast Anchor Library in Highlandtown with Rafael Alvarez (writer from The Wire), Rosalia Scalia (amazing local author), and others…
Listen to Wojo when she co-hosts with Dave Durian on WBAL Radio, Friday, December 21, starting at 6 a.m. She’ll be at Valley View Farms for the rest of that morning, signing books.
If you can’t make those, get Wojo’s book on Amazon.com for paperback and Kindle and on BarnesandNoble.com for the Nook.
Happy Holidays from all of us in Wojo’s World®!!!