Everyone is lazy sometimes. So don’t think that this is going to tell you how you need to have a Puritan work ethic and constantly be contributing to society.
I mean, please, I too have had those weekends where I barely get off the couch because I’ve stumbled onto a marathon of “Storage Wars,” “Law & Order,” or the history of UFOs.
Yes, I have eclectic television show tastes…but I digress.
The point is that I can be as lazy as the next person. But there are limits.
For example, while I will gladly pay someone with a truck to plow heavy snow out of my driveway, it’s not because I’m lazy; it’s because my husband and I would like to rejoin the world before it’s due to us both collapsing after shoveling 7,000 tons of snow and we are taken away in an ambulance.
That’s not lazy; that’s survival of the fittest. Or, in this case, the not-so fittest.
I would get a professional in to fix anything electrical in our home. Why? Well, imagine the snow scenario, except this time, my husband and I have electrocuted ourselves by trying to fix some wiring. It would again end with health care professionals. Not good.
What are my limits? Unless I couldn’t use my hands and arms, I would never pay someone to stir my tea for me.
You’re probably wondering where that came from. It came from me reading a catalogue and finding a product that will do exactly that—it is a self-stirring mug.
I want you to read that again and think about it for a few seconds: this is a mug that stirs your beverages for you.
Seriously…
What I don’t understand about said mug is that you still have to do something to make it work; you have to push a button. So it’s not completely “hands-free.” But why would I want to pay extra for a mug that I would merely have to push a button as opposed to stirring my tea or coffee for free with this new-fangled gadget called a spoon?
But wait, there’s more.
Eating spaghetti with a fork is not the easiest task to perform, but it’s certainly not rocket science. In fact, if you find that you are having problems getting the long tendrils to stay on your fork or you start splattering yourself with sauce, there is important action you can take.
You can just cut up the spaghetti.
Gasp—shocking, I know!
Unless, of course, you’re lazy. Then you can get a new gadget called the “spinning fork.” This is a battery-operated device that looks much like a regular fork (except for the fat handle where the batteries fit in). The head of the fork spins and wraps the spaghetti around it.
The only problem with this helping you to achieve the ultimate in laziness is that you still have to move the fork from the plate to your face. Oh! Will you be able to do it?
Again, this is not to make fun of anyone who needs assistance with these kinds of tasks. But for those of us who can do it, just do it!
The final product that recently caught my eye is a wooden gun that shoots rubber bands.
Yeah, we’ve now moved on to ways that kids can get even less exercise. That’s always a plus, right?
So, you put a rubber band stretched out across the top of this “gun,” then you pull the trigger, and it shoots it at your intended target—most likely, your brother, your sister, or your best friend.
Wow—what an invention! What a great addition to the world of play! How ever would we do this without the magic shooter?!
Oh, that’s right; we would just use the appendages on the ends of our hands. You know, our fingers. You put the rubber band on your thumb, pull it back with your fingers, and then let it fly to your intended target.
Then you get even more exercise when you’d run to your mom screaming, “Timmy’s chasing me!”
Sometimes, the old ways really are the best…
Michele Wojciechowski, who is stirring her own tea, using a regular fork with spaghetti, and occasionally shooting rubber bands at her husband, writes “Wojo’s World™” from Baltimore.