As the pandemic restrictions have begun lifting, I’ve occasionally ventured back into stores of all kinds: clothing, housewares, hardware, you name it (And I’m still wearing a mask even though I’m vaccinated. Think I’ll be doing that for a while) …
And I’ve actually gone back to grocery stores as well. But not often, as if you read this column regularly, you may remember how my husband sticks to the list, but I, well, I think I become Julia Child when I get inside and buy way-too-much stuff.
I’m old enough to remember the days when grocery stores consisted of a little corner store where the owner knew your name, customers ran tabs, and the lady behind the counter (the owner’s wife) would throw a candy bar in the bag for me at no charge.
Boy, have times changed.
We would only venture out to the “big” grocery stores when my mom needed more than just staples. And that would be an adventure.
Today, though, it’s an even bigger adventure because now grocery stores are selling more than just food. A lot more…
For instance, I was heading down the cereal aisle of a local grocery store looking for a certain brand. Here’s what I saw: cereal, cereal, cereal, cereal, Monopoly, Sorry, Candyland, cereal, cereal, cereal.
Uh, wait a minute. Did I see what I think I just saw?
Yup. Classic kids’ games stuck right in between 3,000 boxes of cereal.
But wait, valued customers, that’s not all. I thought it was okay when grocery stores began selling items like fresh flowers. Hey, why have to run to a florist if you just wanted a small bouquet to brighten up the dinner table. I can get prescriptions filled there too–great, one less stop to make.
Now, though, they’re getting ridiculous.
Want a DVD? (Yes, some of us still buy DVDs even though we can stream stuff. Now get off my lawn!) No need to order it online. You can buy it at the grocery store.
How about an electric knife? Need one of those? Guess where you can get it? You guessed it.
I nearly fell over when I spotted a rack of leather jackets just before the frozen food aisle. Leather jackets? What, in case you forgot your coat and would get too cold while selecting your Tater Tots and ice cream bars?
No need to go to the toy store either. Why? Because you can get lots of toys at the grocery store like a radio-controlled truck or a train set.
I thought that I had seen it all when I saw the set of lawn furniture–the kind that you would see in a department store–that would be perfect for your patio or deck.
I was wrong. The grocery store item that completely blew me away was the 20-inch flat screen TV that one was selling.
A TV. In the grocery store.
I kid you not.
We used to call grocery stores “food stores.” But you really can’t call them that anymore. And when did the term “grocery” come to mean “everything that you ever wanted to buy anywhere at anytime”?
I’m nostalgic for the days when the most exciting thing we kids could find when shopping with our moms was a comic book or Mad magazine on the rack. Instead of being happy about getting to sit in a cart and be pushed through the seemingly endless rows of food and the chance to ride on the mechanical horse or car out front (and if we were really good, we might be able to get something out of the gumball-like machines that sold cheap plastic rings or little cars or animals in a plastic ball), kids will want more.
Kids will soon start begging for the toys they see. Or a leather jacket. Or a flat-screen television set.
One day in the future, at the rate things are going, we will end up with one store – and only one–that will indeed sell everything…including the kitchen sink. Literally.
It will be called “Mart Mart.”
I’ll then be reminiscing about the days when you could only get a few big things besides food at the grocery store.
Michele “Wojo” Wojciechowski, when she’s not in the grocery store pointing out things to her husband saying, “Look at that. Can you believe they sell that here?” and longing for the good old days, writes “Wojo’s World® from Baltimore. She’s also the author of the award-winning humor book Next Time I Move, They’ll Carry Me Out in a Box. You can connect with Wojo on Facebook or on Twitter.
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