Columns
Grocery Stores: Not Just Selling Canned Goods Anymore
By Michele Wojciechowski on June 24, 2021
As the pandemic restrictions have begun lifting, I’ve occasionally ventured back into stores of all kinds: clothing, housewares, hardware, you name it (And I’m still wearing a mask even though I’m vaccinated. Think I’ll be doing that for a while) … And I’ve actually gone back to grocery stores as well. But not often, as […]
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Cicadas: The Last Hurrah
By Michele Wojciechowski on June 17, 2021
When you last heard from your intrepid humor columnist, she was freaking out about the cicadas…we join her, while she’s doing much of the same: Over the last week, the song of the cicadas has been getting more and more quiet. But the sound of me screaming because of them has not.
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Cicadas Here, Cicadas There, Stupid Cicadas Everywhere!
By Michele Wojciechowski on June 10, 2021
As the little girl said in front of the snowy television screen in Poltergeist, “They’re heeeeeeeerrrrrreeeee!” The big red-eyed, large-winged, drunk-flying, 17-years-underground cicadas are out here in Maryland. And they are out in droves! A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I, being way-too-curious about these monsters from my nightmares, decided to check our […]
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Lady? Spot? Blanche Devereaux?
By Michele Wojciechowski on June 3, 2021
My husband and I were talking recently about the weird things that people name their kids. It’s usually celebrities, and they have named their children names that make most folks wince. Like Apple. Or North. Or Moxie Crimefighter (I swear that I didn’t make this up—this is the name of magician Penn Jillette’s daughter). So […]
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I’m Not a Doctor, but I Play One on the Web
By Michele Wojciechowski on May 27, 2021
While I love the Internet, there’s one thing about it that makes me run screaming away from my computer. Is it because I can learn—up to the minute—what crisis is going on in the lives of each and every Kardashian? Nope. Because I keep getting ads that ask if I want to become a million-dollar […]
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My Husband, the Carry-all
By Michele Wojciechowski on May 20, 2021
My husband, Brad, and I are pretty good about knowing our strengths and our weaknesses. I’m not a good singer. At all. You don’t want me singing at your wedding—unless, that is, you want to drive everyone out of the church or ceremony holding their ears and screaming. Brad is not a fan of public […]
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Ready or Not, Here They Come
By Michele Wojciechowski on May 13, 2021
I got bad news the other day. I knew it was coming, but I kept pretending that perhaps it just wouldn’t happen. You know, like you do with income taxes, falling asleep at 9 p.m., and getting excited when you buy a new dishwasher.
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Things I Like in Theory
By Michele Wojciechowski on May 12, 2021
I like a lot of things. That’s true. But after doing some deep thinking while stuck at home during the pandemic, I’ve realized that there are also a lot of things I like in theory, but not in practice. Confused? Let me explain.
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Pantry Pride
By Michele Wojciechowski on April 29, 2021
When you read this title, did you think I was going to write all about the former grocery store chain, Pantry Pride? Well, I’m not. This week’s tale is about the pride I can finally take in my pantry. Yes, this is how pathetic my life is. I’m excited about the fact that I organized […]
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Our Secret Recipes
By Michele Wojciechowski on April 23, 2021
My late mom was an excellent cook. She made amazing lasagna, stuffed cabbage, spaghetti sauce, chili—the list goes on and on. But the one treat she made each Christmas season, the one that everyone desired, was her creamy, rich chocolate fudge. She would make tons and tons of fudge and give it out to the […]
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